Processing

How do you move through the most challenging times in your life? “There are emotionally devastating moments that I’ll never forget,” I said to my therapist. “Oh, I don’t doubt that.” These days, I’m back to walking. The weather is getting nicer, and I appreciate it, but right now, it’s in the sweet spot. Today, […]

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Stranger, No More

“What did you do on your 35th birthday?” The above question was posed, and I didn’t have an answer. My birthday has frequently been a source of anxiety for me, as it feels like everything is moving too quickly. I’m getting older faster than I can take, and yet, I’d like to come to a […]

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Too Much

The details aren’t important. For me, it’s the lessons learned. Recently, I found myself in a situation that I thought was going to be relaxing, and even fun. I had enjoyed a similar situation before, but this one, while more or less the same, was not the relaxing experience I had wanted it to be. […]

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Odyssey

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Driving is still the cure for so much of what ails me. The simplicity of it is appealing, and every component is crucial, from the good music to the familiar streets to the iced coffee in the cup holder. I drove around on this beautiful Monday, with minimal cars on […]

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It Starts At Home

Maybe I do love to bash this holiday, but more than anything, it needs to be reframed. The last Valentine’s Day I celebrated was when I was 33. I was in a new relationship, the first in a long time, and the person I was dating really loved steak. I didn’t want to drop the […]

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Talking to Ghosts

Usually, my dreams mean nothing. I wish that I had exciting dreams, or meaningful dreams, but I don’t. I often don’t remember them, or if I do, and I think about them, they are nonsense. There are no profound messages coming through, no prophecies. I used to get anxiety dreams, usually based around school. I […]

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2022

I’m not used to years like this. In past years, I’ve set goals for myself, or resolutions. I wasn’t planning on it this year, as I want next year to be a continuation of this one. And yet, I know that it can’t be, that each year, each month, and each day, are unique unto […]

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Glimpses (Part III)

No quote to start, we’re just going to dive back in. First off, I’d like to thank you for sticking with me until the end of the trilogy. I’m not sure why the concept of getting a glimpse appealed to me, but maybe it’s because that’s all I’ve gotten. I’ve never had sustained success in […]

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Glimpses (Part II)

“Why do you think you’re still single?” Then I met the girl that I thought would end it all. Okay, that’s too strong, but at the very least, she stood out. I immediately extended our connection on the app because something in me clicked. Maybe it was intuition, or maybe it was the fact that […]

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Glimpses (Part I)

“Do you feel pressure?” “No, well, maybe a little bit.” “Why?” “There’s pressure to see if we connect.” I was asked the above question during a somewhat recent date. On the whole, the conversation flowed. In our conversations, we talked about little things like where we had lived, but the conversation also went deeper than […]

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