“What did you do on your 35th birthday?” The above question was posed, and I didn’t have an answer. My birthday has frequently been a source of anxiety for me, as it feels like everything is moving too quickly. I’m getting older faster than I can take, and yet, I’d like to come to a […]
Read more "Stranger, No More"
Usually, my dreams mean nothing. I wish that I had exciting dreams, or meaningful dreams, but I don’t. I often don’t remember them, or if I do, and I think about them, they are nonsense. There are no profound messages coming through, no prophecies. I used to get anxiety dreams, usually based around school. I […]
Read more "Talking to Ghosts"
The title might be a bit dramatic, but stay with me. In the dream, I think I was driving a minivan, similar to the one I used to drive for work. It was pouring outside, harder than anything I’d seen before, but I wasn’t concerned. For some reason, my dreams have been more vivid than […]
Read more "Taking on Water"
And just like that, it’s all over. Today marked the one month anniversary since I started doing something different. On January 10th, a cold Friday, I started group therapy, and today was the final day. I’m a mix of emotions about it. There were fantastic people that I met, and wonderful facilitators who ran the […]
Read more "Groups"
“So, what are you in to?” In a church basement on a Saturday afternoon, I was asked a question I’d never been asked before. The usual question is, “What do you do?” I look the person in the face, meet their gaze, and I offer up what amounts to a canned response. I tell people […]
Read more "3 Questions"
You never know who will brighten your day. At around 8:30 am, I pulled into a parking lot. I was there to pick up my moving truck, and although the day was young, I was already frazzled. I was later than I’d meant to be, and I was running on six hours of sleep after […]
Read more "The Kindness of Strangers"
I meant to post this last week, but here we are. Two weeks after my 100th post, it stands to reason that I should write a post about numbers, and how in so many cases, they don’t matter. Numbers don’t matter, so let’s start with a few. Including this post, I’ve now posted 102 times. […]
Read more "Numbers"
Sometimes, the way we feel is just below the surface. After a good workout, I offered a friend of mine a ride home. I located my orange car in the parking lot, something that’s never hard to do, and it started without hesitation. Off we went into the night, driving the short distance to the […]
Read more "Truth for a Truth"
This week, I’m turning 100. Kidding, but seriously, I can’t believe I’m writing this particular post. I’ve now posted 100 times on abredder91.wordpress.com, and it’s kind of amazing. The first few entries were from my time spent in Sri Lanka and New York, but after that, it’s all been about the conversations we need to […]
Read more "100"
It’s important not to get ahead of yourself. It’s been over a year since my last date, and I can’t say I’ve missed dating all that much. I’ve often found the experience to be more anxiety-inducing than anything else, and so it’s been easier to avoid it in the name of mental health. I know […]
Read more "First Date"