Ideal Life

The picture used to be blank.

The topic was on my mind before I even got home. Maybe I was mulling it over in the super market, but when I walked through the door, I was ready to sit down and write it out, ready to get down my thoughts, to pour some time and energy into a post that could help me make sense of my life, and what it is that I want out of it. I’ve never been much of a planner, and anyone who knows me well will tell you as much, but I think that I work best with a loose structure, at the very least an outline. The details will come later. What I need are the lines and shapes. The color can be added as I go.

I haven’t thought about my ideal life in quite some time, but it’s been popping up in my mind with greater frequency. For a long time, I hadn’t been able to come up with anything. I’m wonderfully averse to five-year plans. Lately, there’s been a change in my thinking. I’ve been thinking about my life, and what it would look like if I had everything that I wanted. I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching and evaluating, trying to figure out if I actually am walking the path that I want to be on. Sometimes, you get to a certain point, and you know that it’s time to make a change. Any time I make a change in my life, that’s when I need to sit down and put pen to paper, or rather, fingers to keyboard.

So here it is, the life I’d want:

Location: I know that this will probably change, but right now, I’d want to be in a city or close to one. While I’m still single, there’s just no reason to leave. I don’t require a ton of space, but rather, I want to be close to the action, surrounded by people, and to feel the energy of the place that I live. I do love being surrounded by nature and looking up to see the stars, but that’s something I can do a couple of times a year and be okay with. Maybe down the road, I’ll want more of that. I’ll want more of the peace that being away from people brings with it, but for right now, I’m content to be living in a city that I love, and maybe the city won’t always be Boston, but I’m open to trying different places. Some place with easier winters would be welcome. Maybe that’s Portland, Oregon, or another place like it.

Partner: I do want a wife, but maybe a better term is a partner. I’ve never wanted to be with someone who really and truly depended on me. What I really want is someone who is their own person, much in the way that I am. We both have our own interests, and maybe we have arguments every now and again because we’re both strong, or at least she is. I’ve never been all that strong, but I’ve been able to tap into strength when the moment calls for it. Either way, we love each other, and as the years pass and we get older, we grow and change, find new ways to stay together, and ultimately the love grows deeper and deeper, into something really amazing that stands the test of time.

Children: I’m still iffy on this, and maybe this is where I say that I’m okay with a coin flip. I wouldn’t mind having children of my own some day, but if they end up being someone else’s children, I would be okay with that too. Part of me relates better to mixed families. It’s what I’ve known my entire life. Our crazy little family continues to stay together, and as we go through the ups and downs of life, we have kept in touch. I used to get sad when I thought about how my nuclear family wasn’t intact, but my mixed family has stayed so strong. It gives me the confidence that no matter who is living under my roof, that they would be loved.

Job: As I’m sure you can tell, I love writing, and I’m not too discriminating when it comes to opportunities. I know that a lot of work still needs to be done, and I know that I’m willing to do it, even if I’m procrastinating. I still dream of a day when I sit down in the morning to write, and I don’t stop until my hands hurt. I’ll get there some day, and even if I don’t, writing has already given me far more than I ever expected.

Everything else: In some ways, I am extremely boring. I could drive the car I have now until the day I die, and never get sick of it. Another reason this has all been coming up is very simple; I want a basketball hoop. There isn’t much that I miss about suburban living, but I absolutely miss having a hoop in my driveway. I’d go out every night, even in the cold, and shoot until I got tired of it, or until my fingers started to get cold. Maybe I’d envision myself in the context of a fantastical game, or I’d just shoot for shooting’s sake. I’d walk all around and pick places to take shots from, take fade aways, everything. I’ve never been much of a basketball player, and maybe I never will be, but there’s something about my old slanted driveway that called me out there every night.

And that’s as far as I’ve gotten.

There’s probably more that I haven’t considered, but it’s nice to know that a picture does exist. I’m further along with some of these items than I am with others. What I’ve realized is that there are things that I want, and more importantly, there are things that I could live without. I know that the picture is just that, a snapshot of a moment of time, and I could wake up tomorrow ready to tear it up and start over. That’s the beauty of the lives that we live. Nothing stays the same. Everything is fluid, and it can overwhelm you or invigorate you, depending on your mindset. I’ve always seemed to function better when everything is totally insane, and maybe that’s the way it will always be. Something tells me that I’d be able to handle it. Thanks for reading.



2 thoughts on “Ideal Life

  1. Adam,

    I am reading and hearing parts vision, clarity, dreams and an actionable agenda. It’s all doable depending on your energy, priorities, and choices. You seem to be shifting from passive into active energy. The possibilities with each of these “wants” are realistic and conceivably, doable. The fact that you are putting each ‘out there’ is testimony to your present needs and desires. My wish for you is that each becomes fulfilled and opens doors for the next. And that you grow comfortable with both the change and the unknowing associated with each. Put simply, await and allow. 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Eric,

      Thank you for your wonderful feedback. I do feel like I’m shifting into an active phase of life, and I truly hope that I keep up the momentum, something which isn’t easy to do (I can struggle with it). I promise there will be many self check-ins, and reassessments of these goals over time. I want to make sure that I don’t keep chasing things that I no longer want.

      I’m putting these goals out there, maybe as a way of manifesting them, or I guess I’m more a fan of self-fulfilling prophecies. Listing them out also brings my life some much-needed clarity.

      As always, I thank you for your kind words, and will do my best to embrace the unknown, as terrifying as that can be.


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