Excuses

“It’s just a weird time in my life,” -me.

I know, I know. It’s tacky to quote yourself. I avoid it for a number of reasons, mostly because I already know what I know, and so when I learn something new, it comes from an external source. Usually my quotes come from others, from one of the many thought-provoking conversations I’ve had. I’ll pick one line that stands out, an idea, and that will become a magical post. I learn so very much from the wonderful people in my life.

I love when people give me information I didn’t know before, something that has improved my life in some way, something that has steered me in a direction I might not have gone in otherwise. This has happened so many times. I need all the help I can get. After all, we’re all just muddling our way through. We hope that we don’t mess up, but life wouldn’t be interesting if we all got it right on the first try.

I don’t usually quote myself, but every now and again, I’ll come back to something that I’ve said, something that stands out, and I realize it needs to be expanded upon. Maybe by analyzing it, I can learn something new about the person writing about it.

—-

It’s not a bad thing to examine our own flaws. In fact, I think it’s useful to look back, even to earlier in the day, and to consider the things we did, and the other ways we could have responded. I’m choosing to extend my examination period. This past month, or rather, the past six months have been the most bizarre of my life. I’ve been through the wringer. I won’t elaborate on what’s happened, but if you see my last few blog posts, and then look at the dates for those posts, you’ll notice that I haven’t posted since the fall, November to be exact. I wasn’t sure I’d ever posts again, and yet, something about this day compelled me to do some things I hadn’t done in a while. I got in a great workout, and then pulled out my old computer to write. Some ideas fresh ideas had entered my mind.

I sit here and reacquaint myself with an old friend, my laptop, a friend who has witnessed so many of my trials and tribulations, my successes and my failures. This is a friend that I’m comfortable with, who gives me the ability to tell my story, to speak out loud, and I hope that I’m not just writing for myself. My hope is that I reach someone, that someone reads a post of mine, and they learn something that they didn’t know before, something that makes their lives better or helps them to understand themselves. It’s a lot to hope for, I know. I’m not paid for my content, and I’m an amateur writer at best. Even so, the goal has always been to make the world a more positive place, no matter how small my contribution may be. No one wants to believe that his or her presence on this earth has added to the onslaught of negativity, and I suppose I am no different.

—-

The quote at the beginning is something I’ve said quite frequently. I have a habit of finding myself in odd situations when it comes to my personal life, and so when faced with the proposition of dating or anything else in that realm, I usually default to an excuse that reads something like, “My situation is not stable enough for me to pursue anything else.”

And yet, I realize that it’s just that, an excuse, that it’s something that I say that kind of means nothing.

The truth is that yes, there are better and there are worse times to get in a relationship, but life rarely follows a formula. Rarely do you get everything you want, and then decide that you want a relationship, and then you find said relationship.

The frustrating thing about dating is that there is no perfect formula. Many people play the odds, but that can result in pushing too hard. Some people expect perfection in their partner, and then are let down when no one meets that standard. Some don’t play the game at all because frankly, it’s way easier to sit on the sideline and spout out excuses for why they don’t get more involved. Some people just have no interest. No matter where you fall, excuses are what limit us in any area of our life. They may have some validity, but the excuse I mentioned at the outset is one that limits me and well, I need to remove it from my mind, or at least cut down on the frequency with which I use it.

When I think about it, it’s almost always going to be a weird time in my life. If the first 32 years have taught me anything, it’s that life is strange and whimsical. Rarely can we plan anything without there being some hiccup. Our lives are constantly shifting, nothing is a given, and everything can change overnight. It makes it so that there will almost never be a perfect moment to begin something, the way there will never be a perfect moment to break up with someone. Yes, there are better and worse times, but you shouldn’t wait around for that better time to come. When things are over, it’s time to end it.

And yet, there are moments when it’s time to push away from the table. There are times when we’re getting our house in order, the way that I am. This is truly a weird time, but maybe I should consider using the above quote as more of a stopgap excuse, something to be utilized for a short time, rather than something that I fall back on, and get way too comfortable with. It becomes a crutch that I refuse to relinquish.

We all make excuses for why now isn’t the right time. It’s understandable. Sometimes our lives are in complete shambles, but more often, it’s that not everything is perfect, or the way you want it to be. We should wait until we’re ready, and we should never feel forced to do something, but sometimes, we just have to go for it, and figure out things along the way, rather than waiting for a time that may never arrive. This is as much a directive to you the reader as it is to me: get out there and live, and whatever it is you’re waiting on, go for it. You absolutely deserve it. Thanks for reading.

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