This week, I’m turning 100.

Kidding, but seriously, I can’t believe I’m writing this particular post. I’ve now posted 100 times on abredder91.wordpress.com, and it’s kind of amazing. The first few entries were from my time spent in Sri Lanka and New York, but after that, it’s all been about the conversations we need to have, but often don’t. Almost two years have passed since I fired this thing back up, and it’s been so much fun. I’ve learned so much about myself, and while I’ve been worried I’ll run out of material, it doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen. New ideas keep popping into my head, and sometimes when I lie down to sleep at night, that’s when the best ideas come to me. That’s when my mind becomes a slot machine that’s paying out.

I know there’s room for improvement. I’ve gained a decent amount of followers, but there’s always room for more, and I know that my webpage layout is nothing special. Maybe that’s not important. I’ve churned out an average of one post per week for almost two years, and while I am nowhere close to putting out a book, the blog has given me a way to publish something each week.

I try not to write too much about the process because I know it’s not interesting, so instead I’m going to take this time to thank you, the reader. I value each and every one of you. When I thank you at the end of a post, it’s because I’m truly filled with gratitude, and I count myself lucky that of all the things you could have read, you chose a post of mine. That’s never something I won’t appreciate. It will never not move me.

I’d like to share with y’all some of the things I’ve learned over 100 posts. I’ll do my best to keep these short and sweet, and I can’t wait to see what I learn on the way to 200.

I can stick with something. I’ve definitely been the type of person to flake. Sometimes, I’ll do something once or twice, and then move on to whatever is next. ADD doesn’t make keeping that focus any easier, so I’m happy to say that writing a blog has taught me a thing or two about commitment. I may never end up owning a house, and I may never end up in a long-term relationship, but I know that I can write something each and every week. It’s a hobby that pushes me to keep improving and bringing new ideas to the table.

I can improve. So much of life is just showing up. It’s easy to  being there on the days when you feel great, but you also have to be there on the days when you’re miserable. More than just sticking to something, I’ve truly learned what it is to work at something each and every day, and to really love it. I’ve been consistent, sitting down to write 1,000 words almost every day, and the improvement has been noticeable. You don’t have to spend hours every day to get better at something. Sometimes, it’s the simple act of spending a little time each day that gets you where you want to be.

I can hurt. Many people remarked, especially during the early going, that my posts were depressing, and they were surprised to learn that I’m an upbeat person. I’ve been in so many different states of mind in my life, so many different phases, as I’m sure we all have. I’m much more positive these days, but I think it’s important to remember who we’ve been. I can still step back into the mind of who I’ve been, into the mind of an Adam who was much less stable, an Adam who was fighting but felt like he was losing, and pull new lessons from that person. I am not that person anymore, but I was at one time in my life, and I still remember exactly what it feels like to feel like I’m not thriving, but barely surviving.

I can heal. I can still reach back in time to the person I used to be, but going forward, I’d like to continue to be positive, and to try and spin things in a positive light. So much of life is how you choose to see the world, and being positive can reinforce a happy mindset. Healing hasn’t been easy, but I’m doing so much better than I was at the start, and I truly feel like I’m on an upward trajectory. I feel like I’ve been able to process a lot, and I’ve been much better at focusing, not on the past or the future, but on what I can do now.

I can go outside. There are times in my life where it was easier not to venture out into the world because I wasn’t sure I possessed the energy or the strength to deal with it. I know now that I can go out and be in the world, be a part of it, and writing pushes me to do this more and more because experiences make for better writing, and they also help me to connect with others.

Life is a mystery. I know that sounds vague and kind of stupid, but it’s true. We don’t know what’s going to happen, but so much of life, so much of the enjoyment, is not knowing what’s coming. The sooner you embrace all of the uncertainty, the happier you’ll be. I’m still realizing how truly little I know, and this keeps me hopeful. There are still so many things to learn, but I’m learning to enjoy the journey at each step.

People are still surprising me. Yes, people can be ugly to each other, but people can also be wonderful. They can renew your faith in the human race. They can absolutely blow your mind. They can say something that totally changes the way you see certain aspects of your life, and that’s while I’ll continue to write. The strength I’ve seen from people in impossible circumstances is something that continues to inspire me. I’ll never stop loving that side of humanity, and I’ll never stop having these conversations.

So thank you, thank you all. You’ve stuck with me, or maybe you’re new, but you’re all equally welcome. I hope you stick with me, as I’d like to try out some new and different things, but the format will largely stay the same. I’ll keep writing because I absolutely love it, and also because I love people. Thanks for reading.


2 thoughts on “100

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s